Meditations for Mortals - week two, day ten

Meditations for Mortals (by Oliver Burkeman): A 4 week/28 day series with dailyish posts about the book
Week two - taking action

DAY TEN
Look for the life task
On what reality wants

On day ten, Burkeman sends out a call to us:

What’s the life task here? Never mind what you want. What does life want?

He continues,

By definition, a life task is something your life is asking of you; so while it might coincide with your parents’ expectations, or your society’s ideals, it also very easily might not.

Burkeman offers us two “signposts” that can help in identifying our current life task.
(Note: I”ve put current here to emphasize he’s writing about ones that call to us now, today, in the moment — as opposed to the big picture life task, which might be the same. However my understanding — and my takeaway from this chapter — is about whatever our current life task might be.)

He says we need to start with our own sense of intuition is where to start — that’s common sense.

But then he adds:

The first (signpost) is that a life task will be something your can do ‘only by effort and with difficulty’ - and specifically with that feeling of ‘good difficulty’ comes from pushing back against your long-established preference for comfort and security.

(My new composing self is very happy reading this! A task of A LOT of effort and A LOT of difficulty — both!)

He then writes that this life task is one that “may be the kind of endeavor that ‘enlarges’ you, rather than making you feel immediately happy.’

(Composing is definitely doing that! I am usually feeling challenged and am rarely happy while doing it - though afterwards I am extremely so. More on that below.)

The second signpost is that a true life task, though it might be difficult, will be something you can do. Burkeman writes:

(It) emerges, by definition, from whatever your life circumstances are…It’s being asked of you, with your particular skills, resources and traits, in the place where you actually find yourself.

(ALERT: Stream of consciousness flow about my composer backstory coming up!!)

Stream of consciousness flow, go!

The first time I was asked to compose something was in Prof. Zvacek’s theory class as an undergrad student at Crane. We were given the (brilliant) assignment to compose a modal piece for our own instruments which we would then perform for the class. I went to a nearby park and sat with my flute by a waterfall for inspiration and wrote a beautiful modal flute solo - that I believe is long lost, but I remember the opening theme which seems to have been in E Phrygian? Even back then I had a fondness for that strange, dark mode.

I remember feeling that sense of flow that is always talked about when you do something and you lose yourself while in it. I often have that feeling when performing or teaching too, honestly. But that composing flow isn’t one I’ve had many chances to experience — until now.

Writing these duets for the new version of my book has brought a real sense of euphoria — no joking — when I play them with students, listen back to them, imagine performing them and seeing my name listed as “composer” on a program! Not in a selfish way, but in that deep way of feeling proud of having done something I know that I have the capacity for, and knowing I pushed myself in a new way…

As Burkeman said, it was something I felt being asked of me— with all my skills, experiences, and quirks — in the very place where I happened to find myself.

Complying with a life task, Burkeman says, can you give you a feeling of getting a handle on life.

The purpose of a question like ‘What’s the life task here?’ is just to bring attention to what’s calling us. Burkeman says, it’s to“haul that knowledge up into the daylight of consciousness, where we can finally do something about it.”

(This might be one of my favorite chapters in this book so far! I love that it’s not “what’s my life purpose,” but what is “my current life task.” Perfect and workable! And imperfect and ever-changing, open to us and our unfolding lives.)

Thoughts:
What’s your current life task?